PPPE: Pleasure Island (Part Three)

"Lucky Seven! WINNER!"
I am greeted with a hero's cheer as I scoop up my enormous pile of winnings. Now what to spend it on? A giant barrel of beer? A six-way orgy at the whorehouse? Non-stop goes on the rollercoaster? More ice cream?

I walk out of the casino, winnings proudly in hand. Say, does it seem a little quieter? Meh, the squares must have gone to bed. Now to have a six way orgy on the rollercoaster whilst eating ice cream and drinking a barrelful of beer!

I am having the TIME OF MY LIFE! Emily sure missed out on a great vacation!

***
I open one eye cautiously. All I heard for the last few minutes (that felt like years) was the roaring of waves and the whale. I had expected a massive crash and impact from the rocks. But now…quiet.

Emily, Wesley and I were all huddled together at the mast, soaked to the skin (or in Wes' case, metal.) Emily cautiously steps away and floats over to the side of the boat. She looks over.
"We must have escaped the whale through there." She points to a gaping hole, the entrance to a cave. It is big but far too small for a normal whale to fit through, let alone Monstro.

"And now…this must be the entrance to Pleasure Island."
"How do you know that?" I ask.
Emily sighs and points over to a small docking pier. There's a huge brightly coloured archway saying WELCOME TO PLEASURE ISLAND.

Emily goes over and unties us from the mast. As soon as we're free, Wesley instantly spins around and throws up over the side.
"How the hell did you suck up the guts to kiss Hook, Emily?" I smirk.
"Yeah," Wesley wipes his mouth with a wet tyre. "Didn't that stupid 'stache get in the way?"
Emily shrugs. "To be honest, it could have been an awful lot worse. I mean, better him than Oogie Boogie. And speaking of which…" Emily walks over to the trapdoor where the pirates had hidden and puts the padlock in its place. "That should hold them." She says.
"So…off to rescue Spike?"
"Off to rescue Spike."

Wesley is the first off and kisses the ground gratefully. "Dry solid land! Thank GODS!"
We walk under the archway and up some stairs. The stairs lead us outside. It's nighttime. There's a huge doorway, but it's shut.
"Spike must be in there." I say quietly.
We go up to the door and try pulling it open. But even with all three of us pulling, it won't budge.
"Drat!" Emily huffs. "How are we going to get in?"
"Well, Emily, you can get in no problem," Wesley points out.
"I'm not going in there on my own!" Emily protests. "I don't know what it's like over the other side."

"Wait, let me finish! You go in through the door and let us in from the other side."
"Alright, OK! Gees, there's times like this that I prefer you seasick."

Emily flies through the door but it's not long before she flies back through.
"The door's heavily bolted. There's no way I can open it."
"What's it like on the other side?" I ask curiously.
"It's deserted."
"You what?"
"I'm serious! The place is a horrible mess and there's no one in sight!"

"Well, based on what I've heard," Wesley explains, "the magic of the island only takes affect once you join in with the temptations they've set up. So, as long as you don't join in with the activities, you should be fine. So you can just go in, grab Spike and get out before the magic…kicks in."

Emily sighs. "I guess you're right. You stay out here and keep watch. I'll come back as soon as I've got him."
And with that, she flies back through the door.

"Right then, William, it's just you and me." Wesley says.
"Indeed it is," I say, wiping my glasses. "As long as we're stay put, we should be-"
"WILL! BEHIND YOU!"

***
It's quiet…too quiet. What once must of been a carnivalesque Las Vegas-style resort is now wrecked. Debris lying everywhere, rides and buildings smashed and burned to the ground.

I can't see Spike anywhere. I hope I find him soon. This place gives me the creeps.

***
The blindfold is ripped away from my eyes. It's dark but, with a spotlight upon us, I can make out an office, with a desk and everything. Around us are what I can only assume are ninja gorilla demons.
"Tied up twice in less than two hours. What are the odds?" Wesley mutters behind me.
"Shut your trap!" A voice commands from the darkness.

"Who-who-whose that?"
The shadow gorilla things step to one side. I'm really surprised to see a large man, wearing a red coat and navy blue hat. His hair is snowy white.
"How did you blokes get onto my island?!" He demands angrily in a strong Cockney accent.
"We took a flying unicorn via the Rainbow Freeway. How do you think we got here?! We got here by boat!"
"Shut up, Wesley," I hiss fearfully.
"Oh, a wise cracker, are we?" The round man sneers at Wesley. "It's a pity really. You have the same spunk that I would have welcomed on Pleasure Island with a VIP pass."
"Not bloody likely, pal," Wesley snaps. "I know who you are. You're the Coachman."
The Coachman grins nastily. "Well observed, Sir, well observed."
"Erm, Wes…who?"

"Keep your mouth shut, boy!" The Coachman orders.
"How did you come back? I thought the island got destroyed!"
"Not destroyed per se. Let's just say…shut down. I simply reopened it for business, put some improvements here and there, made it for all ages…more business, you see."
"More like more victims. And that doesn't answer what the hell happened to you."
The Coachman grins again, his face going a horrible red. "Nothing ever happened to me."
I swallow with fright. Even Wesley looks creeped out.
"Wesley," I squeak, "Is he a-?"
"Yes. Being a demon myself, I know one when I see one."

"You're a smart bloke, aren't you?" The Coachman says, his face back to normal. "Well, if you are smart, I suggest you keep your mouth shut or I can just say the word, and your little ghost friend gets it."

One of the gorilla ninjas pulls back a curtain to reveal a set of screens, linked from CCTV cameras. We watch in horror as Emily wonders the island alone, still searching for Spike.
"She's probably wandering where the others are." The Coachman muses. "Well, little does she know about where the others are…or if they're even still themselves. And look, we have just one left."

In another screen, we see Spike, playing pool by himself .

***
"Spike? Spike?"
Do you ever get the feeling that you're being watched?

Finally, I find a building that's still standing amidst the destruction: a pool house, shaped like an 8-ball. I open the saloon-style wooden doors. To my relief, Spike is there; playing pool and drinking beer.
"Spike! There you are!"

Spike spins around. "Emily! You changed your mind! Did you miss me?"
"No and no. We're here to take you back."
"We? Aww, Wesley and Will aren't here too, are they? And why do you smell like dead fish?"
"A long story that can be explained on the way home!"
"No! I'm having fun!" Spike sulks. "And now that everyone else has gone, I don't have to wait in line."
I clench my fists. "Spike, please. I don't trust this place at all. I'm giving you one last chance. Are you coming with me or not?"
"No."
"Well, then. I didn't want to do this."

I pick him up by the scruff of his collar and march out of the building, Spike kicking, and braying and screaming and…
Wait.
"Spike…did you just make a noise like a donkey?"
Spike has his hand clasped over his mouth and shakes his head nervously.
I hurry on, Spike in hand, remaining silent after the supposed donkey noise.

Without warning, we are seized by strong men dressed in black and dragged off into the park.

***

The Coachman is laughing evilly at Spike and Emily's capture. "That's the last of 'em! Soon, your clown friend will be nothing more than a jackarse!"
"He is already." I grumble.
"I think he means a donkey!" Will trembles.
"Oh yeah…not much difference, really. Shame Emily's not here to seduce her way out." I half heartedly whisper to Will.
"In the words of Emily, she would rather be exorcised a hundred times over than seduce that guy."

As if on cue, the shadow gorilla things burst in, Spike and Emily in tow. I am horrified for Emily…but I can't help but snort with laughter at the sight of Spike. Will must have seen it too, as he is gawping with shock.
"What are you morons looking at?" Spike snaps.
"Hey Spike, like your new ears." I snigger. Perhaps this wasn't so bad after all.
Spike is about to protest until his hands feel his ears. He yanks them down and looks at them.

"MY EARS! MY BEAUTIFUL EARS!" Spike cries, pulling his blue-black donkey ears. "That bastard of a fox lied to me!! I look like a freak now!"
"I see no difference whatsoever!" Despite the situation, I can't help but laugh, even with a stony glare from Emily.
"Shut 'em up and tie 'em up!" The Coachman bellows. "You two-" he points at two of his men "-stay outside and guard the door. Once the clown's a donkey, let me know and I'll put 'im with the others! Shame with this reopening, the effects take longer to come into play. Any funny business from the other three…" He draws a line across his throat before he and his henchmen leave us and slam the door.

"I DON'T WANNA BE A DONKEY!" Spike wails before letting out a huge EEEE-AWW! "Alright Em, say it. 'I told you so.' "
"I'm not in the mood for gloating, Spike."
"I am! She told you so."
"What was that about the others?"
"Something's tickling me." Will says.
Spike feels his behind and a tail with a tuft of black hair on the end pops out from the ropes. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!"

I burst out laughing to the point where I'm actually crying. Spike angrily starts thumping me with his tail.
"That's it!" Will whispers.
"What's it?" I half-laugh, half ask, still finding the thumps of Spike's tail hilarious.
"Spike, I think your tail is our ticket out of here."
"And how's that, genius?" Spike says angrily.
Will and Emily look around the room in a desperate search for something to cut ropes. Our eyes fall on a pair of scissors on the desk.
"Over there! See if you can reach it with your tail."

Spike, finally seeing what we want, stretches and strains his tail as far as it could go and the tail curls around it. He brings it over and starts sawing the ropes with them.
"Hurry up!" I snap after a while.
"If you want to try it, be my guest!" Spike snaps back and keeps sawing. "Oh wait, no opposable thumbs!"
"I'd rather have no opposable thumbs than have bloody donkey ears!"
"Keep quiet, the pair of you!"
"What's going on in there?"
"Spiiiiiiiike! Hurry!"

Finally, Spike hacks through his ropes and he is free…just as the two henchmen outside burst in. Spike lets out an almighty HI-YAH! and leaps through the air Karate Kid/Matrix style. He lands and gives each one a solid kick in the crotch. Both of them buckle to the floor, whimpering.
"Perhaps those donkey powers are handy in some ways," Will says, impressed, as Spike unties us.
"This is the second time I've rescued you guys. Do I get my kiss now, Emily?"
"Gods no! I've already kissed one creep today!"
Spike looks up and grins. "Oh really? Do tell."
Emily flushes as she's realised what's she's given away. "No one. Just get these ropes off."

We hurtle out of the room and down the stairs and out towards the harbour. Henchmen spot us and give us chase but with Will's plasma gun thing, Emily's ghost skills, Spike's…well, whatever Spike does and my bulk, we easily knock them out. We quickly make it to the harbour…only to find...

"Where the hell's our boat gone?!" I yell

Along the dock, our boat is no where in sight.
"I think this may answer your question."

Emily is looking at a piece of paper savagely pinned to a wooden post with a dagger. There is a mixture of anger and terror in her eyes. We all crowd around and read it:

My dear Paranormal Private Eyes,

It is my most regretful duty to inform you that I am simply balancing out our differences by taking your boat and marooning you on this island; something in which I have taken great pleasure in, seeing as it's the fabled Pleasure Island that even my men are afraid to set foot upon it. So I believe we are now even.

And a special message to my dear, sweet Emily. I will make sure you will pay for what you have done. You may have fooled me with your siren's spell once but mark my words I will not be fooled again!

Yours truly,
Captain Hook